Bathing in Artificial Light [Drabble] [Takiko x Uruki]

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 00:27:36 GMT

Title: Bathing in Artificial Light
Fandom: Fushigi Yuugi - Genbu Kaiden
Characters/Pairing: Takiko Okuda x Uruki/Limdo
Rating: PG-13 for implied situations
Summary: He can’t make up his mind, he doesn’t know what he wants… he just wants her to stay by his side.
Author's Notes: Spoilers to chapter 12. Messy drabble. Might edit it later.

Don’t go.

He hated the sight of her silver light, the light of the Priestess of Genbu. Rationally, that beautiful glow had helped them many times in the past, saved her life and even his… but Limdo could never fight against the awful feeling that burned in his stomach each time he saw Takiko surrounded in that ominous, blinding flash of artificial light.

“It surprised me. I thought you were going to disappear.”

Because it reminded him that she was not of Bêi-Jîa. Because each time the burst of light showered around them, there was a chance that Takiko would fade with it, and disappear as the light settled away. Would she go back to her own world and forget about him? She had a life there, possibly even another man who could love her better. If there was someone else she was in love with, then it wasn’t Limdo’s place to keep her here—in constant danger, putting herself on the line for a country that didn’t want her.

It was better if she went home. He’d told her so many times before, fighting against what his heart constantly told him he wanted. This woman, this girl—had he really grown to love her?

Don’t leave me! Stay here, Takiko!

In the end, he needed her, and couldn’t keep his mouth shut. The promise to stay by her side hadn’t been something that Limdo had said for her, but for himself. He wanted it to be him, to keep her close, to protect her.

If he could heal her pain, he would. If he could be her guardian, even as a despised warrior of Genbu, he would do it.

“Why..” she asked him. “Why did you.. stop me? You always tell me I should go home..”

“I was wrong.”

God, Takiko, I was wrong. All those times, I ran away from my destiny. From everything; from you.

Now I’m here, all I can say are stupid things that do nothing but make you cry.

“I was wrong,” he whispered, his voice rough and uncertain.

She was there, the lingering sweat of a fever on her skin, hands loosely holding a white sheet to cover her body, staring up at him. He was mildly annoyed at how quickly she forgot her anger at him for being so near her when she wasn’t dressed properly—but he also forgot that annoyance just by looking at her. The silver light was gone, long-since faded, and Takiko was in front of him, beautiful as any girl of Bêi-Jîa. Without that light, without that reminder of the world that separated them, was it possible that they could be just a man and a woman in love?

“Now I realize.. that I…”

Silence hung in the air, warmth pooling around them, Limdo’s hand pulling Takiko towards him, caught up completely in her.

I realize that I love you. I’m not letting you go… anywhere without me.

Stay, Takiko.

Stay with me.

Choice [Imperfect Simplicity] [Machi Kuragi] [#9 - Cheat]

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 22:21:23 GMT

Title: Choice
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Characters: Machi Kuragi
Table: 1
Prompt: #9 cheat
Word Count: 840
Rating: PG
Summary: Machi's thoughts on her past and present life.
Author's Notes: I wrote this for my AP English Language reader's journal. And it was acceptable. Love for that class, man.
This piece was inspired by an article written by Luke Mitchell in August 2006’s issue of Harper’s called “God Mod.”
Spoilers to chapter 102. ♥

She never had any choices, nor any sort of control on her live. The game had never been hers to play—and Machi didn't think she ever even asked for choices. She didn’t know how. Even though the studying was almost never-ending, the amount of testing near suicidal and the pressure to always excel nerve-wracking and painful, complaining rarely crossed the girl’s mind. Having been so perfectly trained to never stray from the goal.. without her even having to contemplate it, Machi knew that any single complaint would be the highest sacrilege against that mentality.

But beyond all that… Machi didn’t want to complain. She wanted her mother to be happy, she wanted to be praised for her hard work.

Perfect, perfect, perfect always. If she could win, then it was all worth it.

There is a point in human lives, when the situations around them cause the desire to live to escape. It simply takes a step back and says, “enough already” and leaves the human body and mind the way volcanoes leave islands.

I’m not sure when I stopped wanting to be alive. I didn’t want a dramatic end. I didn’t wish for the will to commit suicide or inflict pain on my weak body. In reality, what I wanted was something that was not in my grasp, something that I did not even think to reach for. My half-brother and I were raised battling for perfection, testing each other so constantly—when he stopped the fight and walked away, he found freedom.

But I, who also wanted that freedom, was left alone in the cage of the game.

I didn’t want to rebel. My mother was precious to me. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, the way all children must.

The existence of her brother was what ended up suffocating her, because in the end, her mother only wanted a daughter that was better than him at every turn. She wanted Machi to live, but under her rules, under the selfish beliefs that she had, and nothing else. As a daughter, Machi understood that.

But the effects on her were inevitable and tragic.

The lack of choice was the same as a lack of air and water—it did things to my soul that changed it, starved for so long in that manner. I became a beast who needed to be fed with a purpose to live. That drive to be better than that boy.. That had always been my only reason to stay alive. My existence. To slow down, to stop being perfect, would mean that I would be left with nothing after all.

It was all I could do to keep from gathering the sheets and strangle myself.

But I still couldn’t think to rebel. I still didn’t want to.

I didn’t know what it was that I wanted.

Over and over again. Circles. Something about her life became like a game, where she could not find the next step, the way to get to the next level, and without a way to cheat through it all, she could only go in circles through the paths. Hopeless as it felt, she wanted to find a straight road, an anchor, in a world that had no straightness in it.

No weapons. Half a life left and the skills of a useless pawn, discarded.

She might have been winning the game, but the purpose was gone; she did not have the control that would let her even keep a breath.

Wanting to disappear. That’s what I wanted.

(If I’m a “mistake,” then what can I do? Where should I go?)

He said something that brought me back from the darkness:

“..You’ve been trying so hard, haven’t you?”

He came into her life—not as a man, or a friend, but as another person—merely years after the rebellion and the pain. And he did something that woke up her emotions; denial aside, the warmth of a blush felt like love and she couldn’t believe the emotion was something she was capable of.

He was a nectar of life, a way to revival. The fairy that revives the fallen hero before the end of the game, beautiful and sweet.

The first person, Machi realized, who had made her feel anything so pure.

“You’ve worked so hard… and I’m happy that you can be here, Machi. You’ve done well.. do you know that?”

(I didn’t think I would be praised. I didn’t think that that day would ever come. I’m broken and warped, no longer good for anything.. But still. That there’d be someone who would finally praise me…)

Running out of choices was one thing. Being fed with a choice, even one that let her turn off her mind and not have to think for herself, was painful—it left her nothing but that choice, and if it would ever be lost, so would she be. Just like before.

Being given a choice—

That was amazing to me, and I would not, for the rest of my life, forget it.

//End

etrion

Bathing in Artificial Light [Drabble] [Takiko x Uruki]

Choice [Imperfect Simplicity] [Machi Kuragi] [#9 - Cheat]